Things People Think Are Heard on a Psychiatric Unit But Are Not

There are a lot of misconceptions about psychiatric units in popular culture causing people to have the wrong idea about what really does occur up here. Some of these stem from what really did occur in the past, with the ongoing images of state hospitals remaining in the minds of many people. Some are perpetuated by the entertainment industry. There is a reason that doctors in general do not watch "doctor shows" and the same is true for psychiatrists. There are far too many occurrences that are completely inaccurate and we just end up getting annoyed with the blatant disregard for the truth in favor of a good story. The same goes for movies.


So we frequently experience people who have unrealistic ideas about what to expect from a psychiatric hospital and what services will be provided. The following is a list of some of the things I have run into that patients, referring physicians or family members have expected they would hear, but in reality, never will:


1) I anticipate his length of stay will be about one year. (So you can have a very long vacation.)

2) I will be providing one hour long individual psychotherapy sessions.(As a bonus, I will do this once a day, seven days a week including holidays. I do this for all 19 of my patients.)

3) She will probably need a frontal lobotomy.

4) We have had him in restraints for the past week because he will not take his medicines.

5) Homeless? Sure, we have a special budget for that and will be able to rent you an apartment for a year. Our social worker will help you with that. (Perhaps we can get you a membership to the health club nearby, also.)

6) She has a bad case of OCD and has spent ten years here as a result. She may never go home.

7) Yes, we can involuntarily commit your son to drug rehab after he leaves the hospital here. (Most likely he will stop using heroin and alcohol after he goes there forever and ever, and will marry a beautiful princess and live in a castle, too.)

8) Since you were admitted here you should qualify for the not guilty by insanity plea. We will support you on this. Have your attorney call the doctor. (She might not use any vulgar terms to describe him if he talks real nice to her.)

9) A diagnosis of bipolar disorder means you automatically qualify for disability. All I need to do is sign a form.

10) Get out the straight jacket! Pt X is talking to herself again.

11) I am taking a few blood tests to see if he has a chemical imbalance or not so we know what medicine to put him on.

12) There is a giant bird's nest in his room because he thinks he is a bird. (No, we do not have any issues about this being in there.)