I admit it. I love technology. I grew up in that cusp between giant mainframe computers that took up a whole building and Blackberry's with more memory than the original Macintosh computers. I took the usual computer programming course in high school, learning BASIC on TRaSh 80's. I learned about binary numbering systems. I watched the Macintosh revolution. I even know how to program the time on my parent's VCR. I have saved both sets (they are divorced and remarried) of parents from the horror of having to hook up a DVD system and actually get sound out at Christmastime. I do not have every gadget that comes out the second it comes out, but I have a lot.
But I love technology with one caveat. Machines are dumb. They do not think. Computers are machines and they do not think. I like technology to the extent that I am in control of it, it is not controlling me. Which is why I do not have a GPS system in my car and am hesitant to use my husband's GPS when he offers to loan it to me. That machine definitely does not think, and using it requires that one allow a snotty little voice be the boss.
I like maps. I like to look at maps. I always have. When preparing for a road trip, I would pour over the maps, plotting out the most interesting, the fastest, or most scenic route to take. My excitement for the trip growing daily with every little turn I figure. I know how to read a map. I can tell a four lane divided road from a small by-road. I can tell roads that are likely to be curvy motion sickness barf-fests by looking at the map and where the road goes. I can tell when a side road is likely to have a lot of delays by looking at the map. That is why I have AAA. So I can always go and get the most up to date maps. Roads do change with time so one has to prepare for this inevitability after all. They are not perfect, but I like them. Maps do not think but I think. I am in control.
So I really do not like my husband's GPS that much. That little box has caused more trouble in our life than a bevy of gremlins (not the AMC kind) could. In one particular instance, the road map showed clearly that one could not turn from Union Ave to 8th St as it was an overpass. The GPS did not see that. It saw an intersection and told us to turn onto 8th St. It gave us a lot of grief when we did not turn off the bridge on to 8th St, hurtling 20 feet or so down to an almost certain death. After it threw its little hissy fit, it "recalculated" and told us how to get to our destination. I have never had a map try and kill me before.
Our most recent escapade with the GPS involved a trip to the local resort where we discovered the previously mentioned most totally awesome AMC Pacer Wagon in existence. My husband was the one who wanted to take the side trip to the tallest point in Pennsylvania before checking in. He likes to go to really remote places that require driving on a lot of curvy roads that take you to scary places where people do not have running water or teeth. You can hear the sound of banjos in the distance. The curvier the road the better, especially if it has a lot of pot holes because I have problems with motion sickness and it really makes for a fun trip when Mommy wants to throw up and gets a terrible migraine. Puking over a guard rail is one of those things that I really do not aspire to put on my list of experiences that I am proud to say I had before I died.
So we went up a lot of curvy roads to get to a nice enough state park where there was an observation tower that gave us a beautiful view of lots of trees. No breath taking view over a valley, no mountains in the background, just a lot of trees. Not worth puking over the guard rail. So we headed out to our final destination to the mountain resort on more curvy roads.
But the GPS directions were confusing, sending us on overlapping roads so we could not tell which road we were supposed to be on. We ended up on the wrong road. So we tried to figure things out with the map. It did not take us very long to figure out that we were going the wrong direction on the highway and needed to make a 180 degree turn. No problem, just turn around and it would take us to the road we were trying to get to. That would have been the smart way to go. I had the map and a handle on the situation at that point. I knew exactly where we were going.
But NOOOOOO!
My husband wants to let the GPS give directions since it has more detailed roads in its files. He turns off the road before we were supposed to on the original directions. "Are you sure about this? This road looks like a pretty minor road. Maybe we should go back to the main road." was my response. He responded with "This looks like it is shorter and will get us back to where we are going more quickly. The GPS says the road will take us straight there."
So we drove on the minor side road for a short time. And it got a little narrower, and we reached a point where it was obvious the road was not used much, as the edges were crumbling. Then all of the houses disappeared, then the farms, then signs of human civilization.
Then the pavement disappeared.
That is where I will leave you in the tale, but the good part comes up next so check back.
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