An Old Home Dies

On a busy corner of a main street in my town there sits a blighted house. Not much different from all of the hundreds of other blighted houses out there, but this particular house sits near a friend's shop and I drive by it quite frequently. Devoid of all exterior coverings that one would expect to find on a home, it is particularly hideous in appearance.

She tells me that it was reputed to have last been occupied by drug dealer. Once he was caught, the occupants disappeared and the house has been vacant ever since, at least by official occupants. Empty homes are a magnet for rats, pigeons and mice. Not to mention unwelcome human visitors who find such homes a good shelter from busy eyes, therefore useful for drug dealers and "shooting galleries".

Not that the house is totally without value. When I drive by, I see pipes, wires and windows, all which could be reused. There are two Satellite dishes that appear to be in good condition mounted on the side of the home. The pipes could be stripped and sold for scrap metal. Some of them may be reusable. The windows appear to be recent installations, albeit done shoddily in plywood nailed onto the original window frame. It is possible that they could be reused. If not, the glass could be recycled, as could the metal frames. The house is obviously quite old and on the interior there could be some quite beautiful light fixtures, hardwood flooring and other pieces that might be reusable. Of course those sorts of reclamation type demolitions take money. Old walls bear lead paint. Old tiles and insulation have asbestos. But eventually, that house is going to have to come down.

As do probably a couple hundred other blighted homes. It bears a red condemned tag on it as do all of the condemned homes. Most of the red tags posted on homes like these have long faded to pink or even near white. The owners are supposed to bear the burden of bringing the homes back to code or demolishing the building, but the cost to tear down the structure is greater than the cost that the property would sell for. In some cases the owners have simply died of old age and their children, if they had any do not want anything to do with the property and simply abandon it. The city is supposed to give the owners every opportunity to reclaim their property before razing the building causing even more delays. Federal stimulus money did have some benefit to the community in allowing several houses long awaiting demolition to be brought down and cleaned up. But the hundreds more waiting have yet to be touched.

The number grows every day. The area's long standing Republican representative does not live in the city proper and never sees the decay that his constituents see every day. Riding in on the coattails of his father, his long time tenure as Representative to Congress has done nothing to improve the economy in the area and the layoffs in the area grow daily. This is a working class community to begin with and many of the homes in the city are of little value on the real estate market. Certainly nothing worth fighting for when the foreclosure notice comes. The end result is another home is left to decay.

The recent removal of some of the blighted homes in the area of the city surrounding the downtown area has removed a few of the eyesores around town but it is only a drop in the bucket compared to the growing numbers that remain. The holes they leave look like the gaps in a line of poorly cared for teeth. This always leaves the question of what to do with the property. For the adjacent owners, the property would probably be a welcome addition to the anemically narrow lots they survive on. Homes from this era were built with little more than a few feet for a walkway to pass between them. The problem is that most homeowners in the area are either slumlords who do not care or poor homeowners who cannot afford to buy this land. The areas are too run down to redevelop without tearing down the entire area. The end result is displacing an entire neighborhood of people who can barely afford what they have. In some areas, local businesses have bought some of the properties, largely to pave over as parking lots, but the land does not go unused at least.

In one area where a large enough strip of land was cleared to be useful, the city made the decision to convert the area to a park. This, on the surface sounds like a good idea. To someone who has seen this before, it is a terrible one. I have lived in a big city long enough to see what happens in a small park surrounded by a decaying neighborhood. The children do get a playground to play on but the drug pushers quickly find a new whole new location in which to pick up customers. Get them young while they are too naive to know better and they become your slaves. Driven to dealing themselves to support their own habit, an entire new and growing network of addicts is born. There are always abandoned houses to hide in to shoot up.

I know what this city needs. We need jobs. But bringing jobs in is a lot easier said than done.

Can this city be saved?

Things I Tell My 4 Year Old that Nurses Tell Our Patients

-Put your underwear on!


- If you are not going to wear clothes you are going to have to stay in your room. Nobody wants to see you naked.


- Stop playing with your penis in public.


- Don't use your sleeve as a tissue. That's what Kleenex is made for.


- You need a shower/bath. .... No you are not clean. You stink. And it does not count if you do not use soap. I know if you haven't used soap so do not try to sneak.


- Dinner is here. WASH YOUR HANDS before coming to dinner. I don't know where those hands have been but I know it is somewhere pretty disgusting.


- If you are going to yell like that you are going to need to take a time out in your room. (NB: 4 year old's who refuse get privileges revoked. Some patients get prn medications if they get really bad so there is some difference here.)



- Pull those pants up. Your underwear is showing. (Of course the 4 year old's reason for droopy drawers is the more benign thin body build while the adult/adolescent patient is just trying to play the "gangsta" role.)


- Stop picking your nose/butt at the dinner table.


- No biting!


- Watch your language!

-When was the last time you took a brush to that hair?

-You need to brush your teeth. Your breath is disgusting.

Internet Party Tonight

"TV party tonight
TV party tonight"

"Don't want to talk about anything else.
We dont wanna know
We're gonna watch our favorite shows."


The song resonates through my head as clear as day. Like I was listening to the grainly old tape itself.


"Be back soon! We are down due to connection issues. We are sorry for the inconvenience."


That was the message the greeted me at the top of my ISP's home page when I sat down for my evening ritual of computer time. I have little time to use the computer and the brief time after my son has gone to bed and before I do is my time to catch up on email, Facebook, my blog and Twitter. Until this unwelcome visitor greeted me above.


Is is a tacit assumption that most readers are not familiar with the Black Flag song "TV Party" so I will explain the lyrics above. The song surrounds a group of pathetic losers who have essentially no lives and do little with their day but "watch TV and have a couple of brews." Their lives are totally devoid of any value and they take great efforts to avoid dealing with the reality of the world. When the TV breaks, their lives fall into chaos and they are forced to actually talk to each other, something they have never had to do before and are at a total loss on how to survive.


When I saw that notice about the internet being down, my first inclination was to actually play video solitaire rather than do something of real value. I realized then how my addiction to the computer and the internet, especially Farmland, had overtaken me. I have been able to cut back my use of Facebook and Twitter to a low roar, but Farmville is a consistent addiction. I HAVE CROPS TO HARVEST, FRIENDS' CHICKENS TO FEED AND GIFTS TO SEND! I need to stay on top of this as I need 2 MILLION COINS to get the HUGE farm. Whithered crops are just wasting money and that just will not do.

My mind pleads for mercy- "My Lord! How have I offended Thee?"

I think his response would likely have been "Do you want the whole list or just the top 10?" Fortunately, I was not that high up in his priority list to warrant a response.

So I am a pathetic loser. I could write these thoughts down now and transcribe them later (which obviously I did). I have done it before, I can do it again. There are always other things that need tending to either way that are of far more importance that electronic solitaire.

Then a light turned on in my head...

...I can still access the internet from my IPod and at least harvest my crops.

And another display in my mental Hall of Lame is opened.

"We stay tuned to the TV set all night-
and every night.
We don't go out into the world at all-
it's such a fright.
We've got nothing better to do than to watch TV and have a couple of brews."
Lyrics: Greg Ginn Performed by: Black Flag

Obamacare and Illegal Aliens

I realize the Healthcare Reform Act has been very controversial. Some love it, some hate it, some support the idea but feel it needs revision. It is certainly being brought up a lot in the current campaign year. People have the right to their own opinion, but what really irks me is the constant misrepresentations of what the bill actually says. Political ads constantly bombard the public with half truths and sometimes outright lies to sway the public towards their candidate. Since so many people make their decision on those ads alone, and not on the reality of the candidate's true record or principles, I wanted to throw in my two cents on a few points as an example of how the truth can be distorted.



First thing, is I do want to make comment on the journalistic abilities of Fox News. It is not just because Glenn Beck is on my top ten list of men in the world most deserving of a thorough ass whooping, but I have issues with the station as a whole. Fox News was bought by noted conservative newspaper man, Rupert Murdoch solely for the purpose of pushing a hard core right wing agenda. They have no interest in the truth or providing non-biased information and often broadcast information that is blatant lies. If one is looking for the most objective reporting available, The Christian Science Monitor has long been noted for this, surprisingly enough. Even Oscar the Grouch's grouchy girlfriend on Sesame Street said she was going to watch Fox News because "now that's some really trashy news." I played that over numerous times on the TiVo to make sure what I was hearing was correct, and yes, the writers at Sesame Street went that far out on a limb. They helped to propagate the whole "death committee" rumor which never existed to begin. If done in error this shows the signs of very incompetent journalism. If done on purpose it is apparent this was reported with a great deal of intent of malice. The rumor initially propagated by a republican politician whose name escapes me put forth the statement that Medicare recipients would be required at regular intervals to meet with a committee to discuss their plans on how they intend to shorten their lives and prevent unnecessary medical expenses. There was never anything close to this proposed, but when Fox News and Sara Palin got word of this work she wrote to the story and ran with it. What really was suggested was to offer Medicare recipients "end of life" counselling, but it was never mandated. End of life counselling addresses issues such as designating a power of attorney, writing a living will or advance directive, etc. These are issues that do need to be addressed, and probably long before someone reaches the age where one can qualify for Medicare. Many families and providers have been put in a quandry when an incompetent patient without a power of attorney demands to return to an unsafe situation. Most famillies do not have the thousands of dollars needed to hire an attorney to start the process to declare a family member incompetent. Either way the process takes weeks, forcing providers to send these patients home. Many patients die as a result. Having a designated power of attorney to speak for the patient may result in the patient placed in a safer setting. In the long run, this could end up costing the system more, not less as implied by the "death committee" principal. I am not sure if the end of life counselling was dropped from the final product but do believe people are often too quick to act and make assumptions about something without really reading what the clause actually says. This type of behavior can have dangerous consequences in the long run.


My biggest area of contention is the constant barrage of political ads that distort that truth of a given candidate's opponent by taking certain clauses out context and twisting them to mean something completely different than the truth. I have seen far too many ads recently that stated that supporters of the Health Care Reform Act are giving out millions of dollars in health care to illegal aliens. Much of this stemmed from the initial version that did not have a clause in it that specifically stated that illegal aliens (or undocumented persons, or whatever term is the term du jour) were to be excluded in this plan. It did not state that illegal aliens were to be included in the plan either. It is very easy to take the phrasing of the act out of context and state that supporters of the bill are throwing dollars at illegal aliens for health care. That does not make it true.


I work in a setting where a large percentage of our patients are uninsured and have lived in area of the country that played host to large populations of migrant workers at certain times of the year. Tuberculosis runs rampant in these populations as does diabetes. Dental problems are a huge issue. HIV and syphilis are an increasing problems. With the exception of dental caries, these are communicable diseases that could get passed on to American citizens. But they are not monsters, they are humans, and yes, they too need medical care sometimes. These people do not receive health insurance from their employers. The American people need to stop bickering about who is giving money to illegal aliens for health care and who is not and face the fact-


We always have covered the cost of healthcare for illegal aliens, we continue to cover the cost of their care and as long as they are living in this country we always will. These people simply do not crawl in a hole and die when they get diabetes, they go to the ER. They do the same for TB, pneumonia of any other malady they suffer from. There are some areas where clinics have been set up to address their health problems but for a large percentage of them, they end up as high end utilizers going to the most expensive place possible to receive health care because it is the only place they can go when they do not have the money to pay for their care- the ER. Federal law forbids hospital ER's from turning patients away just because they do not have insurance. If they need inpatient care and there is a bed available the hospital must admit the patient or the hospital faces some hefty penalties. If there are no beds, the hospital pays at its own expense to send the patient to the nearest hospital that does have a bed. That law applies to every patient who walks in the hospital doors, citizen or not. Even without those laws, the Hippocratic oath does not only apply in cases of resident aliens and citizens and any physician who refuses to care for a patient because that patient is an illegal alien should have his license revoked.

Of course, the other issue is that doctors never walk into the exam room with the patient and start out the interview with "So Mrs S, are you an illegal alien?" I have never asked a patient of mine if he/she was an illegal alien and would put down good money nor has the vast majority of the practicing physicians out there. We do not know, we do not care. We do not treat "Green Cards". We treat people.

So who pays all those ER bills? You do. Personally, I would rather pay for a $40 office visit to a family doctor but that would be "throwing millions to pay for medical care for illegal aliens." Those that oppose the Health Care Reform Act may have a lot of good reasons to be opposed to it. There are a lot of stipulations that are not popular and some things that may not be the best option for the nation. Not wanting to pay for medical care of illegal aliens is not a good one. Repealing the Health Care Act would result in the taxpayer covering a $600 ER bill rather than a $40 clinic bill. Why? Is it because one does not want it "on the books" that illegal aliens can access health care. Doctors and hospitals are still going to treat our patients, whether they are illegal aliens or not. We have an ethical duty to do so and a federal statute (EMTALA Act) that requires it. Let the Tea Party say what they will. We would still be paying for health care for illegal aliens, just a WHOLE lot more.

Things I Just Do Not Understand

Thongs on really heavy guys.

Men driving cars with Tinkerbell seat covers. Especially if the gear shifter has a skull for a handle.

Really ugly tattoos that look like one's skin is rotting off.

Glenn Beck

Women who bleach the top layer of their hair white and leave the rest dark so they look like a skunk.

Country music. Apologies to my brother, but we made fun of country music as kids, and I am not going to change now.

What the hell a Tarheel is?

Why they had to put this sign up at New Orleans Airport's security scanner. And why they did not notice that they wrote children twice?

How anyone would think that handpainting flames and putting a 2x4 as a spoiler on the trunk of his car is going to make it more attractive.

How 5'2" women with 2 children can justify owning a huge gas guzzling Chevy Suburban just because they have those 2 children and "need the space."

Who Justin Beiber is, and why he is such a big deal on twitter.

What a breakfast burrito is, and why anyone would eat such an aberration? Gross, sorry, but gross.

Why people pierce their tongues, lips, nipples, genitals, etc. It is sort of like the anti-dress for success. Like saying to an employer "Don't hire me. I'm on drugs and will steal your money and sleep with your daughter."

Why anyone would want to wear really huge ring dilators, except in the case when these are use to hide heroin or cocaine.

People who get hooked on heroin and meth despite knowing what it will do to them.

People who have children at 16 years old because they are partying so much that they make bad judgements.

People who neglect and abuse their children because they are too interested in their addiction to deal with them.

People who get so hooked that are driven to trafficking heroin to support their habits and still do not want to quit.

People who have watched all their friends die of heroin OD's but continue to shoot it.

People who have 2 and 3 year old children who are still children themselves who die of heroin overdoses because they could not choose their addiction to heroin over the lives they created.

I would rather put up with Justin Beiber.

Top 10 Songs to Wallow in a Sea of Your Own Misery To

Autumn is traditionally a time people with seasonal affective disorder dread. The days are getting shorter and they know that they are going to start getting depressed. A lot of people are actually affected quite a bit by the change in the length of the days. The advent of artificial lighting has done wonders in creating depressed patients to fuel the mental health industry. I can discuss that in another post. In honor of the oncoming season, I present my favorite ten songs that I find particularly good at listening to over and over and over when I am feeling down. I apologize that most of the songs are rather dated, but since I have been working in small towns and did not until only recently acquire a satellite radio, I have been out of touch with "real music" as it were. Rest assured, though most of these are oldies, they are goodies:



10

"People Who Died" - The Jim Carroll Band

A song enumerating many friends of the writer who died, several through drug use. The sad point is driven home if one aware of the fact that this song is true. These were actually real people who died, and there were quite a few.

9

"Everybody Hurts" - REM

Until the release of Automatic for the People, REM's music was largely upbeat, and at times rather silly. Lyrics were most notably incomprehensible much of the time and this was a signature feature of the band. Not to mention their refusal to print the lyrics on the liner notes. This album changed that tone notably. This song, intended to cheer up the broken hearted missed the mark with its slow pace and melodic tones that had not been heard from Micheal Stipe previously and only made people feel even more alone. That said this was one of their best, if not their best album ever made. Then they started to suck. (Sorry boys. I love you, always will, but the truth is the truth and new REM is just not old REM.)

8

"The Rat" - Dead Confederate

One of the few contemporary songs on the list. Anyone who has ever felt brushed aside or labeled as insignificant can sympathize with the rat killed in the song because it is viewed as vermin to humans. Even worse for the rat is that it is brushed off at the Pearly Gates as well so even in death gets no respect.

7

"Every Day is Like Sunday" - Morrisey

I hate to use the Smiths/Morrisey more than once, but Morrisey is by far the best depressing music writer ever. Lacking the talent of guitarist Johnnie Marr, his solo music did not have the musical quality as the Smiths. Despite that, the depressing tone of the music lasted. Only Morrisey could successfully portray the image of being miserable while on vacation in a resort town. And to tie it in with imagery from the movie "The Beach" where the Australians are awaiting the nuclear dust cloud to come and rain down on them after WWIII and slowly kill them- absolutely brilliant!

6

"Misplaced Childhood" - the entire album, minus the last song- Marillion

Being so desperate for love one man falls in love with a prostitute. Then buys her a ticket to England expecting her to meet him there and actually get on the plane. Not surprisingly, he gets stood up and totally breaks down into a miserable heap of self pity. This concept album by one hit wonder Marillion must be heard in its entirety to fully get the entire range of emotions. The down side is the last song turns it all around and makes everything better, spoiling the whole effect.

5

"Wish You Were Here" - Pink Floyd

Written as a tribute to former (and now deceased) member of Pink Floyd, Syd Barrett. In many ways, an attempt to apologize for kicking him out of the band. Not that it did not need to happen. Barrett's bizarre and unmanageable behaviors interfered with his ability to perform as a musician. Ironically what was initially believed to be the result of excessive drug use turned out to be severe mental illness. Anyone who has been separated from a loved one can identify with this song and it is very useful to play it repeatedly, at least 10 times to really get one's mood down.

4

"Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" - The Smiths

Enough said.

3

"Grapevine Fires" - Death Cab for Cutie

Just the name of the band is morbid. A song about a couple, presumably in California, sitting in an elevated graveyard drinking wine while all of their worldly possessions burn to the ground. The woman's daughter dancing happily through the gravestones. Could there ever be a more peaceful sight? The lyrics, the pace of the song, everything, leaves this very solemn feeling of doom and destruction that hangs with you for hours. Great way to really feel blue all day long.

2

"How Soon is Now" - The Smiths

Not to be perseverative, but these guys are by far, the masters of misery and unhappiness. The Smiths have perfected the depressing song to such ridiculous heights that they actually become humorous. This one is a six plus minute long masterpiece of whiny lyrics, whiny sounding guitar licks, whiny everything. And it drags on long enough to really drive home the point. Most songs cut out after 3-4 minutes and do not have the chance to really sink in and ruin your day. This one has just enough time to do that without the endless droning of those songs produced by 70's acid rock bands that just got annoying after a while. The lyrics are indescribably depressing: "...so you go and you stand on your own, and you leave on your own, and you go home and you cry and you want to die." You simply cannot beat that.

and finally....

1

"The Wall" - Pink Floyd

This includes the movie and the album. The entire two record long album, for those of us who were lucky enough to have survived the years living with roommates without it getting stolen. Even the writer was miserable when he wrote it. The majority of the album was written while Roger Waters was going through heroin withdrawal in rehab. The theme of the story is semi-autobiographical in that the main character, like Waters, lost his father as an infant while away at war in WWII, developed a terrible heroin addiction and had a lot of unresolved emotional conflicts. It helps to see the movie, but only in a good movie theater or at least a home theater system with a good surround sound system, and it helps to watch the movie a good three of four times. At first it seems rather incomprehensible. It takes a couple viewings or the explanation of a veteran of the movie to understand what is going on. What is quite certain is the main character, Pink, is quite miserable, and spends the vast majority of the movie pondering the terrible experiences he has had throughout his life and really does not like to be disturbed while he is busy being miserable. If you do not want to go so far as to see the movie, the album is still pretty depressing, but the story is not as clear. You might best to well to listen to "Hey You" and "Comfortably Numb" over and over again until your roommate whacks you over the head with the turntable that you worked so hard to hunt down so you could play that two album set that you worked so hard to keep from getting stolen.

Now for the instructions on how to wallow in your own misery:

Pick out your favorites, and I am sure you know many of your own, download them onto your IPod shuffle, lock yourself in your room with too much ice cream/cake/cookies, pop, beer, Red Bull, whatever makes you happy and play over and over and over and over and ...... Ignore the rest of the world. Blow off your roommate, especially if you do not like him. Or family, SO, etc. Repeat.

In the end of it all, after you have had your few hours of crying in your beer/energy drink/diet pop, eaten three gallons of double chocolate chip ice cream and missed the biggest party of the year sitting locked in your room burning out your IPod, it is time to realize that while it is good to have some time to let the pain out and stop internalizing your feelings so much, that life goes on and you need to break out of it. If you find yourself following this ritual every night, there is a problem and you need to seek help. More people than you might realize do, including many of the musicians that wrote the dreary depressed music above because they were, after all, depressed when they wrote it. That did not mean they were unable to write after being treated, but the tone of their music was different. Besides, you have been hogging all the double chocolate ice cream and I want some, too.