The Rest of the Story

I still have yet to fully explain the beauty of this particular Pacer Wagon I saw. From first looks, it had the usual POS appearance, falling apart, rust bucket type with some of the floor reinforced with plywood, a certain amount of duct tape as part of the body work, rust holes for decorations. Unless you live inland in the South or in places like Arizona, you have seen this sort of vehicle.


I was taken by a region below the gas tank. There was a strip about six inches wide and extending down to the bottom of the car of a sooty gray color. In the evening light, I had mistaken it for duct tape. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was some kind of grime built up, I guess from having leaded gasoline spilled on the side and never being washed off as the patch was most obviously emanating from the gas tank. The gas cap itself appeared to be a chrome door knob. It stuck out from the body several inches and I am not sure how street legal it is. The wheels were standard issue bland AMC wheels missing their hub caps, of course. It would have been better if three of them were mismatched doughnuts, but hey, you can't win them all. The body was standard issue paint with heavy patches of rust and holes permeating around the tire wells. The kind of car that might come equipped with a high tech eight track player and possibly even an FM radio if one were to really go all out. Us old farts will recall the row of buttons that one had to pull out and push in to save a radio station. Not that there was anything good on AM radio anyways.


Most of these cars had seats with the usual frayed fabric in the middle with a sort of houndstooth design with an outer edging of high quality pleather. Usually really worn seats are covered by either "faux" tiger fur seat covers or Tinkerbell ones if the owner is female. In the summer since many of these vehicles rarely had AC and if they did this has long since stopped working, they have those seat liners consisting of rows of wire coils covered by mesh fabric elevating one's butt and back off the seat slightly in order to provide some circulation as pleather does not feel all that great in the heat. Most hideous in appearance but better than the alternative of sitting on frayed fabric, rotting yellow Styrofoam and pleather in 90 degree weather.


I did not get a chance to inspect the seating arrangements of this particular vehicle as I was so quickly distracted by other features. This one was apparently not meant to die a slow POS death. It was in the process of being reborn into so sort of dorky redneck hot rod. Although the outer tires were bland, there was a very flashy chrome plated mag wheel spare tire in the trunk. One with one of those trillium looking projections coming out from the middle. Brightly polished, expensive and the tire was a high performance low profile tire at that. It was surrounded by, of course, the huge subwoofers that any "cool" car must have in the trunk.


The front was much more advanced in its progression towards awesomeness. The steering wheel was a highly polished chrome chain with a triple barred configuration that is always seen on true muscle cars, and impractically small in diameter. I would estimate no more than 12 inches. Being too small to control one's vehicle is really cool, at least that I what I am surmising from this as I have seen the tiny diameter chain link steering wheel before.


The gear shift was a very stylish chrome skull. Nothing like gripping shrunken model of a dead guy's head to shift gears to make one feel powerful. Personally, I prefer the one that blatantly advertises the gears with the six speed manual pattern clearly mapped out, signifying a high end performance engine, but if this guy wants to grab a dead guy's head, be my guest.


The hood was quite advanced in the customization procedure. It was obvious that it had been cleaned up, the color being a bright white with a good shine to it. It was the middle attachment that impressed my husband and I both the most. I was told the name of the type of body alteration this was, something like an air intake manifold which is often molded into the hood, but this is probably not readily available in a AMC Pacer so would need to be custom. Often they can be attached by welding, but also apparently by bolting, which was the owner's route of choice. I am not sure if this was particularly street legal as it looks and the job seems a bit botched as there are some gaps between the hood itself and the manifold. Note the sky blue bolts. Nice touch, huh?


My husband and I have had some debate about whether or not the final product will contain decals of naked women or not, he siding for the latter, me the former, but we both are expecting neon lights to show up somewhere. I am quite certain I would be very disappointed not to see flames painted somewhere. Whether they were done by a professional or done sloppily by hand has yet to be seen. Air shocks? Perhaps too 70's but remember this is a 70's vintage car and may be quite appropriate to round out the look.


If well done, this car could end up looking somewhat like "DJ" from the Disney/Pixar movie "Cars". If you have seen the movie and need a reminder, he's the one with all the CD's in the back. If you have not seen it, the movie comes highly recommended whether you have children or not. It really is a good movie despite its G rating.


The botched job on the air intake manifold, alas does not bode well for this poor vehicle and poorly done, it is going to look like any other failed attempt at rescuing a dorkmobile and making it a chick magnet and getting a dorkychick magnet instead.


My feeling is because it takes someone with los huevos muchos grandes to drive it in the first place, regardless of the direction this car takes, it is going to be one bitchin hot ride.